VOICE OF THE TURTLE Online - August 10-17, 2004

August 8, 2004

Matthew 13: 45
Hebrews 11:1-3, 8-16

If you were here in this sanctuary this past March for the service in which we recognized Ross Aalgaard’s ordination, you will recall that we had a selection of stoles hanging around the sanctuary from The Shower of Stoles Project.  The individuals represented by those stoles have been, or still are, active leaders in their faith communities.  They are often ordained ministers, elders, deacons, seminarians, church musicians, Christian educators, missionaries, and other gifted Church leaders who have been barred from serving their individual faith community and/or their denomination because of their sexual orientation.  There are also an amazing number of stoles from the project from people who are gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender people who cannot come out or they would lose their ability to live out their call—so they are sent anonymously.  Every stole has a story attached to it.

The Shower of Stoles project began because of the lived experience of Martha Juillerat and her partner, Tammy Lindahl.  Martha comes from such a strong line of Presbyterians that she has said that when she gets hurt and bleeds, she bleeds Presbyterian.  Martha and Tammy are both graduates of McCormick Seminary.  They met when they both held rural pastoral positions in Missouri.   They discovered that it was a sacrifice to the soul to not be able to be out.  They were involved in births, baptisms, deaths, and communion but they could not share a part of their own lives with their own congregations.  They did not dare to share their l986 Holy Union.  Every conversation and encounter was guarded.  They began to contemplate what it would be like to come out.

In 1993, The Presbytery began a three year study, and called for gays and lesbians who wanted to live more honestly to come out, but the leadership stated that they could not protect their ordinations.  Martha and Tammy and one other person stepped forward.

It took a huge emotional toll.  There were death threats.  They were accused of being in the same category as sex offenders and child molesters.  Yet, at every event, they heard the stories of closeted church leadership who appreciated what these “out clergy” were doing, but let them know that it was too risky for them to be fully known.

After three years of spending every weekend telling their stories, and being on endless panels and study sessions, they knew that their ordinations would be rescinded.  They struggled with how to create a piece of ritual that would help educate their denomination to the numbers of folks in the Church who could not live freely.  A friend suggested that they gather stoles from those who were no longer in ministry.  They hoped to have a couple of dozen.  On the day of Martha’s meeting with denominational leaders, over 80 stoles had arrived.  They hung them in the sanctuary.  Tammy stood with Martha as she offered her story, and then Martha removed her stole that had been given her by her parents on the day of her ordination, and she hung it with the others, and she and Tammy walked out together. 

Not long afterwards, Martha and Tammy purchased a bunch of suitcases for $5.00 a piece from Goodwill.  They carefully paced the now 200 stoles representing people from various denominations across our land, and they headed for Rochester.  Seven weeks later they had 350 stoles, and those were taken to hang at the General Assembly.  There was no place to display them, so they were worn by various straight delegates who had arrived.  They wore them throughout the whole conference – including to restaurant meals.  They discovered what it was like to sometimes be assumed to be gay, and it became a consciousness raising that enabled a broad spectrum of folks to see that this wasn’t just another “issue” – it was about people’s lives. 

A couple of months ago, Daniel Pryfogle, Interim Director of AWAB, Association of Welcoming and Affirming Baptists, called me to see if I would represent the board at an ecumenical gathering.  Last Monday morning, I joined with people that I had never met before in a room that became our working-center for two and a half days in the Pilgrim Lutheran Church in St. Paul.   We each carried our denominational labels: AWAB, MLP, BMC, RIC, UCC/ONA, GALA, and AU.  We represented eight denominations.  People had come from as far away as British Columbia, and Massachusetts.  Some had been in a working relationship with each other for years, and for a few of us, it was our first time at the table.  One of the most significant people for me was Martha Juillerat.  As Executive Director of the Shower of Stoles Project, her voice is critically important.  Because the stoles come from every denomination, she has a great understanding of what’s happening ecumenically as she travels around the country and hangs the stoles at denominational gatherings. She is in a position to hear the voices of leadership from a variety of regions.

After introductions on Monday, we took time, as we did each day, to go into the side chapel within the sanctuary.  In that space there is a glorious round stained glass window depicting the pearl of great price.  I was immediately drawn to it.  The pearl itself is exquisite sitting on a half shell surrounded by shades of blue and purple.  I focused on it each time we gathered.  The text tells us that the merchant went and sold all that he had and bought it.  I had the privilege of sitting with folks who were extraordinarily clear on their vision.  Yes, they had all paid a price for coming out. And, they each have discovered the pearl as they have lived out their faith on the edges of their denominations.

Just before we held our closing worship, Martha Juillerat opened a couple of packages that she had just picked up before coming to our gathering.  There were two new stoles to add to her incredibly large collection – a collection that she sees as a sacred trust to be transported around the country.  The second package held a Jewish shawl with traditional long tassels and ancient Hebrew embroidered around the neck.  There was a note attached to it explaining that he could not give his name or what part of the country he lives in.  Martha wrapped the shawl around a chair, and we placed it in our closing circle.  The stoles were laid on the table in the center that carried all of our symbols that we brought to our closing prayer.

The 11^th chapter of Hebrews teaches us that faith gives substance to our hopes and convinces us of realities we do not see. Our final circle was about holding a vision of the future that we cannot see right now. Hebrews gives us the names of those who lived out their faith often in exile on foreign land.

Finding the pearl is about living out the Kingdom of God in a way that demands trust and faith each step of our journey.  It demands transformation.  It often calls for us to leave behind comfort and to step into the mystery of the unknown.  It calls for being in touch with God in such a way that we are sustained for the quest.  It demands that we over and over again offer ourselves and our gifts to be used for bringing in the Kingdom or the Reign of God.  Sometimes we’re asked to clear out the clutter of our lives so that we can be in a position to listen.  Sometimes we’re asked to simplify our lives.  Sometimes we’re called to say “no” in order to create time and energy for renewal of our own spirit.  Sometimes we’re called to “go”. The pearl comes as a surprise.  It is pure grace.

I came away from these working meetings with a strong commitment to better support our denominational Welcoming and Affirming ministry.  And, most of all, on this day when we say good-by to Jodie, we must not only send her off with our prayers and our blessings for her journey, but we must offer prayers and renewed commitment for our journey.  We must stand in this place and continue to educate and advocate for the rights of Gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people.  We owe it to our children and our grand children not to see this as “an issue”, but as a sacred right for each person.

At the time we dedicate our children, we pledge to help bring forth the gifts that are built into their very beings.  At the time of Baptism, we enter the waters and we re-enact the death of Jesus, and we celebrate resurrection - the coming forth from death to life. The pearl of great price is found when we unite as a community of faith ready to stand with those who seek to leave the grave cloths behind.  We cling to the pearl and are reminded that in God’s eyes, there are no second class Church members who are forced to stay in the tomb because it is not safe to be fully who they are.  We do this for the sake of all of us and for the sake of our future.   Amen.

Benediction:  “The Spiritual life does not remove us from the world but leads us deeper into it.”  (Henri Nouwen)

Video:  “So Great A Cloud of Witnesses:  The Story of the Shower of Stoles Project”  The Shower of Stoles Project.

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